For the man he almost is
by Angel Kitten
Summary: What might have been Tomoyo's underlying reason for sending Kurogane to another dimension. TomoyoKurogane


Hello everyone,

This is my interpretation (wishful thinking) on what motivated Tomoyo to 'banish' Kurogane to another dimension. Tomoyo was my fav female character in Card Captor Sakura, and I'm so happy I can finally pair her up with her very own man! (because you don't touch Sakura/Syaoran. Ever. They're cheesy in Tsubasa, but in Card Captor Sakura they ROCK) Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Tsubasa Chronicles or any of its relating characters.

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_**For the man he almost is**_

**A one-shot dedicated to everyone who has ever loved and let go.**

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Tomoyo could not sleep.

Although not possessing any direct time reference, she had her own ways of knowing that the hour was late. Outside, the moon had long past reached its highest angle and was now slowly making its descent back towards earth. Soon the sun would come up, and then there would be no saving her anymore.

Tomoyo tossed and turned, valiantly trying to find a just position in which she could seduce her body to rest. But it would not do. Recognizing defeat at last, the princess sighed and slowly rose from her futon. She had been afraid of this. It was impossible for her to sleep knowing _he_ would be back soon.

_Him. _

_Kurogane_.

It was only this morning that Souma had announced that the ninja had completed their task in the lower regions of the country, and were returning home at long last. Tomoyo remembered to have simply inclined her head, careful not to reveal any of the emotional turmoil she'd just experienced. She had then asked, tentatively, if _he_ had complied with her wishes.

Of course, this had not been the case. She was told Kurogane had butchered everyone and anything that lay in his path with an almost maniacal glee, blood dripping from his sword and soaking his robes.

Tomoyo vaguely hoped that he'd consider changing before visiting her tonight. This he had done at irregular intervals ever since she had first surrendered to his touch, months ago… Whether he came merely to look for another way to satisfy his senses or because he actually cared for her, she did not know. Truth be told, she wasn't quite sure of her own intentions either. For how could one actually love a man who did not only take lives, but enjoyed doing it as well? It was for her protection, she knew that, but she was also very aware of the fact that he would happily kill for free.

_What spell had he cast over her? _He was handsome, to be sure, but Tomoyo prided herself on being able to see past all that. Time eventually eroded all such beauty; what would be left for her should she foolishly decide to have him? An unquenchable thirst for blood, arrogance, cruelty, ferocity, ruthlessness… Tomoyo shook her head. This wasn't how she had pictured the man she would fall in love with, not by a long shot. Yet love is blind, as they say, and she couldn't have been more wretchedly unsighted had she poked her eyes out with a blunt sword. Oh, but she was a fool! Shaking her head again but more vehemently this time, she was about to return to her futon when a voice behind her said:

"Tomoyo…"

It was a deep voice, one she hadn't heard in a while but knew all too well. Her heart pounding, she turned around to see him leaning casually against her windowsill, sword in hand and dressed in his usual dark garb.

"Good evening Kurogane…"

How he had managed to get past all her guards and into her room without raising any alarm she did not know, but she chose not to be impressed by it –again. After all, he _was _ninja. She sniffed the air surrounding his form and made a face.

"You smell of death. Couldn't you have at least changed your clothes before you came?"

At this, he smiled –grinned rather- and advanced in her direction. Despite herself, Tomoyo warily stepped back. She knew that look.

"I wanted to see you before doing anything else, love. I thought you'd appreciate that."

"Don't call me 'love', Kurogane. It's cheap, especially coming from you."

He now stood in front of her, his tall, dark frame looming over her petite stature as he bent to inspect her face. "My, my, my…aren't we feisty this evening? Is this the kind of thanks I get for saving your pretty little ass from every lower region punk in Japan?"

"Did you really have to kill them all?" she snapped.

"Yes," he said firmly. "The only good enemy is a dead enemy."

Tomoyo sighed in exasperation and turned away from him. He raised his eyebrows momentarily, and then lazily stretched out a gloved hand to stroke her face.

"Now, now…don't pretend to be all upset."

Bending slightly, he kissed the pulse of her neck and pulled her to him. Tomoyo struggled not to relax against his chest, tried not to feel his lips against her skin; but her efforts were futile.

"What do you want from me?" she whispered desperately.

He tilted her chin with one hand and fixed her gaze with his; "I want nothing _from_ you. I want you. Every little inch of you..."

And with that, he had claimed her lips with his and Tomoyo once again felt like drowning in his embrace.

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She looked intently at him as he lay sleeping at her side. How peaceful he looked! How completely soft and calm he seemed! It was a far cry from the ruthless murderer who had entered her window only a few hours ago. Extending her hand, she tenderly stroked a dark lock from his face, feeling his warm skin underneath her fingers.

She belonged to him, this man.

_She loved him. _

She'd known this ever since she first laid eyes on him, years and years ago…and she knew that he loved her too when in a rare moment of tenderness, he had confided that only with her, his slumber was deep and untroubled.

But she could not be with him. At least, she thought, not _now_. He had to change first. He had to turn into the man he almost was and whom she already loved with all of her being.

After tonight, she had realized that there was more to him than blood thirst and arrogance. Looking at him now, sleeping so peacefully, she was certain of it. These traits of his, so alarming and cruel, were only the outermost layer of his being, hardened perhaps, by a rough life. Yes, she thought, reflecting on this; life had perhaps been cruel to him.

Her fingers trailed over his face, tracing the lines of his features, watching them twitch ever so slightly under her ministrations. But, if he was to change, he was to go. _She_ couldn't change him, this she realized. Others would do this in her place, and he would have to discover truths for himself too. He needed to go away, far away.

It was in the best interest of both of them, Tomoyo realized. She knew she was quite capable of having him as he was now, her ruthless killer, but in time this would break her. She needed to let go of him now, to allow him to find whatever he was searching for…and she could only hope that someday, he would return to her.

Tomoyo had to blink hard to fight back sudden tears which were threatening to fall. It was the best thing to do, she knew, but it hurt. It hurt her so. As she crept back into his arms, and he subconsciously tightened them around her, Tomoyo could only silently cry against his chest, wishing for all the world that he would never let her go.

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He was gone.

She had sent him to Yûko this very morning, unceremoniously and with a cheerful air that gave nothing away of how she really felt. Tomoyo wiped away a lone tear, glad to finally be able to grieve over her beloved. Crying while in company of Souma and the rest of the court had been an unthinkable act, and for the first time in her life, Tomoyo had cursed protocol.

Truth be told, a part of her had also felt distantly satisfied while sending him of... She had been quite angry with the insulting tone and look that he had given her. How he managed to turn from a rude and insulting jerk by day, to smooth and seductive lover by night baffled her, but fueled her creativity nonetheless. At the very last minute, she had cursed him; a curse which would diminish his strength with every unnecessary death he caused. That ought to teach him a lesson.

"_Cut this out, Tomoyo!" _

She flinched as she recalled how he had suddenly called her by her name, the name which he never used outside her bedroom. Souma had been scandalized and she had felt momentarily torn; should she go through with this? Couldn't she selfishly keep him?

But she had not given in, and he had vanished into the swirls of her magic, on his way to Yûko. A good future would be arranged for him there, of this she was certain. Tomoyo had been exhausted afterwards, both by the excess use of her powers and the strong emotional strain tugging at her heart. It was not difficult to convince Souma that she was tired, and soon she was left alone.

Tomoyo looked around the room in which he had been only hours ago. Her eyes tenderly brushed the bed where he had slept and, succumbing to her feelings, she laid her head on the pillow on which he had laid his. As she inhaled, she could faintly discern his scent and this was enough to send her into another fit of tears. As she cried for a lost love, only one thing, one sentence consoled her:

"_I'll be back, and don't you forget it!" _

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**FIN

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Reviews appreciated. Thank you for reading!

**Angel Kitten ;)**


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